"Hear You Me"

Lately there have been days that I wake up just wishing that things were different. It is so easy to be negative and think about all the things in life that could have, should have, and would have. I was lying in bed the other night watching an old TV show and Jimmy Eat World was on the episode. I am not a diehard fan of theirs, but I enjoy their music. Towards the end of the episode, they start to sing “Hear You Me” (in my opinion, one of their best songs). Although I love this song, every time I hear it, I tear up and think of Danielle


Danielle was a friend that passed away right before my junior year of high school. I met her at the wonderfully amazing Redwood Christian Park aka RCP. I went to RCP for seven summers in a row and loved every minute of it. RCP was always the highlight of every summer. The summer before my sophomore year, I was in wonderful cabin with eight wonderful girls. Danielle was one of them. Most of the girls in our cabin knew each other from past summers at camp, but Danielle was there for her first time. I still remember that when there would be a counselor meeting at night Danielle would call her mom in our cabin just to let her know that she was doing okay. Over that week I became good friends with Danielle and Brianna (Danielle’s friend, who also was in our cabin).

Danielle is the girl sitting next to me!  Sorry for the poor picture quality...this was back in the day of disposable cameras!

This is the infamous Eskimo Jesus at RCP.

As usual after a wonderful week at camp, I went back home and started back up with my routine. My sophomore year flew by and I really enjoyed keeping in touch with all of my camp friends throughout the year. That summer rolled around and on June 18, 2005, 16 year old Danielle was driving her 1994 Volvo through an intersection when a mini van collided with the Volvo. Danielle died on the scene of the crash. I can remember the events of that day like it was yesterday. The funeral for Danielle was held on June 23, 2005, my 16th birthday. I couldn’t believe how packed that church was. Not only were all the seats taken, but the side aisles were filled with people standing and people surrounded the outside of the church to pay their respects. At the end of the funeral, they played the song “Hear You Me.” I have included a video with the lyrics of this song. It’s beautiful. Danielle will always hold a special place in my heart. I cannot wait for the day that we are both in the presence of our Savior.

Psalm 130

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;


O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.


If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?


But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.


I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.


My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.


O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.


He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Struggles

I have blogged in the past, but haven’t in quite some time so I decided to start a new blog for this stage of my life. I don’t plan to hold anything back on how I am struggling. Life has been quite a struggle for a while now and I know that others can benefit from hearing how others are coping with everyday situations. I, like everyone, has a fair share of struggles.

My current struggle is not knowing where my life is headed. I feel so stuck all the time. Most of it is my fault, and I realize that. When I graduated from high school I was so excited to go away to college and become an elementary teacher. I focused on that for a couple years and then was faced with new challenges and have now come to realize that I am not meant to be a teacher. The only problem is that I have no idea what I am meant to be. I pray every day that I will be able to figure out which direction I need to go.

The only thing that I really have a passion for is photography. Ever since exploring this new world, I have looked at everything with a new perspective. I see everything through a lens. “To me, photography is an art of observation. It's about finding something interesting in an ordinary place...I've found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them.” Elliot Erwitt